People talk all the time about time management; however I think it’s a bit of an overused and misunderstood principle. I also think much of the rhetoric on time management is void of the realities of motherhood. Let’s face it, Moms…most of us don’t get to manage our time, we get to react, respond, prioritize, reprioritize, and adjust to squeeze as much as we can into each day. Here is great example https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Clarry_Lay/publication/209836122_Trait_procrastination_time_management_and_academic_behavior/links/54ef949f0cf2495330e27c1a/Trait-procrastination-time-management-and-academic-behavior.pdf
Perhaps the issue is not the management of time, but the flawed assumption that time is ours to manage in the first place. Time is the one thing that is steady, consistent, and never changing, so I’m not sure we really can manage it as much as we are forced to deal with the daily disappointment and shame for not getting “enough done” with our fixed allotted amount of time. So while I think time management is a big of joke, I do think STRESS is real, I think our STRUGGLE is real, and our SHAME is real. This is where I want to help; here are three steps to beat STRESS, STRUGGLE, and SHAME we all feel.
Instead of Time Management
Manage Your Stress – Time Management Replacement #1
1. Don’t manage your time; manage your STRESS. Learn how to say NO! One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn is that I have the freedom to say NO. Saying no to activities allows me to manage my stress level, it creates space for the things I want to do and allows me to safely discard the things that add stress to me. Stress management is not time management so don’t confuses them.
Manage Your Struggle – Time Management Replacement #2
2. Don’t manage your time; manage your STRUGGLE. We all have things that are hard for us to do. We have tasks that we hate, ones that we tolerate, and ones that we love. Instead of trying to manage your time and fit a bunch of tasks that are a struggle into your day, determine how to find a balance between those tasks that you love and hate. The things you struggle with will take more physical and emotional energy, so plan for the struggles and balance your days, weeks, and months out! Time management doesn’t address the real emotional struggles we have with tasks, so focus on the struggle.
Manage Your Shame – Time Management Replacement #3
3. Don’t manage your time; manage your SHAME. You don’t have to be a superhero, and the biggest piece of advice I can give women is to STOP CARE WHAT EVERYONE THINKS and comparing yourself to every other mom out there. This is hard work, even for the most self-confident of us out there, but you need to focus on being the best you and say to hell with the rest. No one gets to define you, shame you, or control you. Everyone has different gifts, skills, and talents. So what if you are not the mom who patrols Pinterest for 10,000 cool ideas a day, big deal! Regardless of your skills, BE YOU. Don’t be shamed into anything, and don’t let feelings of guilt drive you.
Time management is a joke, but learning how to manage your STRESS, understand your STRUGGLES, and letting go of SHAME can help you become your best YOU, while freeing you from the burden of trying to manage something that is fixed like time.
